Friday, February 26, 2010

My Friend Harrison

Even though I may not have many "followers" at the moment, people are coming up to me and saying they are liking my blog. Which means that people are actually reading my insane ramblings, which is a nice thing. My friend Harrison even accidentally referred to a certain housemate of mine by the name 'Meattrain' instead of his actual name, and was promptly embarrassed. 

Since then, Harrison has requested that I write an entry about him. If he is kind enough to laugh at my stupid jokes, I feel like it is the least I can do. He has also requested that I write him a song about the SA Lotteries, which I will work on. I mean, I already wrote him a parody song about Pokemon but let's face it. I enjoyed that way too much.

Here are some facts about Harrison:

  • Harrison works at a newsagency. I am pretty sure he hates it, based on how much he complains about it. He does love the SA Lotteries though. When we went to Melbourne he and I perused the Victorian scratchies and Harrison was of the opinion that they were not up to scratch SO TO SPEAK. Harrison's biggest work-related pet peeve is people coming up to him and asking for a "winning" lottery ticket, as if he knows which ones are going to win.
  • My first thought when I met Harrison was 'My, what an attractive young man'. However I didn't dare vocalise any such opinions on account of my being a bit afraid of him. It seems silly now that I know what a total pushover he is, but at first I was totally intimidated by him. What with the English accent, the generally judgemental demeanor and the fact that he hated Vegatrain for no real reason* I guess I just assumed he wouldn't like me. Luckily he thinks I am great, possibly because I write him "funny" songs about Pokemon.
  • Harrison loves dicks. He loves them. Can't get enough. However, he does also have a strange fascination with my breasts, which is something I can't quite explain.
  • Harrison also loves the weather. Nothing excites him more than a good, hard, cold front. Just mention the words "tropical cyclone" and his own storm starts brewing, if you know what I mean. I think it is because of this that he has something of an obsession with Storm from the X-Men. I am pretty sure he wants to be her. And when I say "I am pretty sure" I mean he has told me this many, many times.
  • His codename is Harrison because of the wonderful Nedroid Comics.

That is Harrison in a nutshell. He is pretty great, you guys. Five stars, would be friends with this guy again.

-Smackie Onassis

* I like to view myself as a key part of Harrison's no longer hating Vegatrain.

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