Monday, February 15, 2010

While I'm On The Subject

Here are some of my ideas for niche porns (I must warn you, some of these are pretty tasteless):

Hot Bisexual Teens Read English Poetry:
Does the thought of rhyming couplets get you going? Does the thought of long, winding phrases about trees make you start to sweat? Does the idea of a hot bisexual teen with perfect diction really sound like your cup of tea? Look no further than 'Hot Bisexual Teens Read English Poetry', coming soon to an internet near you.

Highly Questionable Terminal Illness Porn:
A barely legal blonde gets breast cancer ("the sexiest cancer"). Feeling sorry for the busty teen, an all-lesbian crew of nurses decide to find out her dying wish and then grant it to her. It turns out that she wants nothing more than to have sex with local amateur film sensation Derek Studly. He grants her dying wish and a whole lot more...

Hot Man On Train Action:
Did you collect trains when you were younger? Did the feel of the smooth, cold metal give you a twitch that you couldn't quite explain? Watch as four men revisit their childhood collections with an added gusto, before guiding each other's "trains" into their "stations". The hot, train-related action will be sure to get your engine steaming!

Ok, I am done. Before anyone starts with the whole 'You should be ashamed of yourself' deal, don't worry, I already am.

-Smackie Onassis

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