Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Cast of Characters

If you have been perusing my blog without reading the introductory post, you may have noticed that I refer to people by code names, for reasons of both privacy and hilarity (Meattrain is particularly adament about never revealing his true identity, like the meat-based superhero he is). It has been brought to my attention that the code names I am using are becoming increasingly ridiculous. Personally, I think they have remained at a pretty consistent level of ridiculous, but that's just my opinion.

However last night, while trying to sit out a particularly awful migraine, I started coming up with some potential code names. What I ended up with instead was a list of characters that I would love to see combined in some kind of mildly plausible fictitious setting. They started almost reasonable (for me, at least), but very quickly got more and more ridiculous.

Cast Of Characters:
Little Johnny Applesauce
Baxter Isafence
Jason Faceonacup, the mug collector
Abe L. Trolleycopter
Sasketchiwa Johnstone, the beef haunter
Clones 'The Cloner' Clonington and his seven piece one man band
Holy Jeremiah Heel, the street walker
Lonesome Jim Hula-hoop, the solitary hero
Gentle Dolly, the village proctologist
'Colonel' Ipswich Von Beardington, the clean shaven bus-driver
Old Man Crimestalker, the vigilant vigilante
Beans McGee, the ventriloquist with his charming off-sider;
"Raphael", an allegedly sentient tin of beans with a keen interest in politics

This entry is my written promise to create a piece of fiction that includes every one of these characters. I will probably do it later today, even. I'm not going to lie to you, the idea excites me, just a little bit too much.

-Smackie Onassis

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